First Kiss - Carlisle and Esme
by TeamCarlisle
Summary: Carlisle and Esme's first kiss


Carlisle sat in his office with the door open. It was the middle of the night and had he been human he knew it would have been one of those nights that he couldn't sleep.

Out in the living room he had heard Esme and Edward playing friendly games of checkers, and then traded up for chess after some time.

Exactly one month had passed since Esme had awoken into her new life. On the surface she seemed happy enough; loving and bubbly. He had even asked Edward on many occasions how Esme was feeling, mentally, since the transition. Still, Carlisle found himself anxious. He wanted To be sure that he made the right decision for Esme. He felt selfish in knowing that he was the one who made such a huge choice for her to begin with.

_I want nothing more than for her to be happy_, he thought.

Carlisle began to think beyond the general care he had for Esme's well-being. He had begun to feel something more, something deeper for her. It was something he had tried to ignore at first, but his thoughts of her were more than just background noise. They were deafening; blinding. He felt something for Esme that he had never felt for anyone before.

Her innocent touches when they interacted, a simple graze of her hand against his, was something he suddenly placed so high on his list of wants and needs. Her voice always spoke the purest of intentions that came from nowhere other than her heart.

Esme was passionate and caring. Carlisle had never experienced either of those things in his life the way he had in the last thirty days. He craved it now, and felt overwhelmed by the thought that he could lose it.

I don't want to lose it, he thought, ever.

"Carlisle?"

His eyes flickered and he awoke from the daydream he'd been lost in for several minutes. He felt his body tense and the mask he typically wore did nothing for him now.

Esme stood a step outside of his office and he quickly rose from where he sat to welcome her into the room.

"Come in."

"Are you busy?" Her voice was quiet and she appeared hesitant.

"No," he said too quickly. He cleared his throat, "No."

"Can I talk to you about something?" She sighed nervously.

Carlisle body tensed even more. He hoped she wasn't having second thoughts about this life. He remembered his own difficulty with the bloodlust as a newborn and maybe it was too much for Esme to handle.

Esme looked over her shoulder and took a few hesitant steps in his direction. "Edward has mentioned before that, uh, that you've wondered how I feel about all of this... this life. He said you wonder if I'm... Happy."

Carlisle swallowed and then nodded. He was preparing for a colossal letdown.

"I just thought you should hear it directly from me." Esme smiled, "I'm grateful. I'm sorry if anything I've done has made you feel otherwise." She placed a hand over her chest as she spoke.

Carlisle could see her genuine concern. He felt pained that she felt the need to apologize to him. She owed him nothing, or that's how he saw it.

"I want you to be happy, Esme," Carlisle told her. "That's all I've ever wanted for you."

"Well I am." She half-smiled, still speaking quietly. "I'm happy here with you... And Edward."

"You, uh, you don't hate me for making the decision to change you?" He smiled to make it appear as though he was half-kidding.

"Hate you?" Shock filled her face, "No."

"You're adjusting okay to this life?"

She nodded, "It's certainly an adjustment, but I don't think I could have imagined anything greater in my wildest dreams." Esme shook her head, "I can't imagine making this transition alone, without your guidance. It must have been so difficult for you." Sympathy rang in her voice.

Carlisle looked away for a moment and then made eye contact with her again.

"I'm sorry." She apologized immediately. "I didn't mean to bring up a bad memory."

"You didn't," he assured her, subconsciously closing the distance between them by a few steps. "I've learned to appreciate the best and worst times. It's lead me here."

"Does that make you happy then?" Esme asked him.

They stood close together, unable to look away from each other.

A month and a half ago, Carlisle would have responded to the question with a simple, boring response. _I'm content._ Now, he had a different answer; an improved answer with far more depth.

"Yes," he said honestly. "Yes, I'm happy."

Esme studied his eyes. "Edward said you enjoy being a doctor. I know you've told me all about it, too, but he really admires you, Carlisle. The way he speaks of you, it's really something." She paused, "Did you really think I hated you?"

Carlisle cracked a smile and looked down again before capturing her newly golden irises once more. "I hoped you wouldn't."

"I don't know if you quite understand the positive impact you've had on me." Esme downplayed her feelings for him that had lingered for a decade, "I never forgot the day we met, you know. The day I broke my leg." She smiled, though continued to speak as modestly as possible. "You were kind to me. You listened. It stuck with me."

"It stuck with me too." He nodded, and then avoided immediate eye contact when he saw Esme's face light up in surprise.

"You remembered that?"

Carlisle nodded and spoke as quietly as she had upon first entering the room. "Yes."

Esme snickered once, feeling beyond flattered that she had held even the slightest fraction of a memory in Carlisle's repertoire. She felt like that same sixteen year old girl again.

Carlisle found himself studying the curve of her face, her eyes, her lips. He hadn't looked at a woman like that before. He was wondering what it would be like to kiss her, to connect his lips with hers and never look back. He wanted to re-defy their relationship for good, but he didn't know where to start.

_She probably doesn't see me in that way,_ he assumed, _I'm probably just a mentor the way I am to everybody el-"_

Carlisle's eyes widened when Esme leaned in and touched her lips against his once.

He froze, as did Esme and the two of them stared at one another for a moment. Awe filled both of their minds; Carlisle's because Esme had just kissed him, and Esme's because she couldn't believe the initiative she had just taken. It was like an outer-body experience.

Esme's mouth dropped and she was about to apologize when Carlisle brought his lips back to hers.

She stopped thinking and kissed him back, this time passionately.

Carlisle brought slid his hand against her cheek, cupping her face with one hand as they failed to part from one another. He sighed, eventually bringing the abrupt action to a halt, though kept his hand lightly against her face.

Esme let her eyes flicker open, afraid she was a part of a teasing daydream.

Carlisle's eyes remained closed for a second and he let his lips linger less than an inch away from hers.

She felt butterflies in her stomach as he let a breath out into her mouth.

Esme put her hand over his and Carlisle's fingers tightened around hers.

He opened his eyes to meet her stare.

_No looking back_, he thought. At that moment, Carlisle saw a glimpse of his new forever in Esme's eyes.


End file.
